MURDERED

thats the single word that could describe all thats left of my hair. i had a haircut 3 days ago.my wife persuaded me to get a new haircut,but unfortunately some fag didnt follow a thing that i told him.so now i have to stick with just merely hiding my gruesome hairdo by applying tons of gel to it.hehe.wow.12 days and still no updates?yup im hella busy right now.maybe just getting a life or enjoying one.been busy with schoolwork lately and i gave my utmost attention solving our math problems.they suck and theyre hella hard but atleast i had the time to study.and im hapee that our math ana finals is over.i still have the hangover with our math...

pain+pain+pain+pleasure=pleasure.

nice equation eh?simple but accurate.lemme explain this.this equation pertains to love.yup love again.simply love.love makes the world go round.love makes blah blah and blahs.love is pain.love is sacrifice.love sucks.but i love it.yup yup.im turning into this hideous animal again.so stand back everyone.here comes ms casanova again.

*wheeeeeeeeeee*

you think i like this?you think im enjoying this?well guess what...your hella right...

and wrong...

know why?

im feeling the same.ecstatic and paranoid.both extreme words to describe the woes and wants.hay if i could only find a good outlet for these things.i would be the happiest person alive.all men needs to have an outlet of things.but good thing is got something closer to it.i got someone to love.someone who would listen to every nonsense and shenanigans that would come out of my mouth.overjoyed by the thought that someone loves me.im contented with her.she fills me.shes the only thing that i think of is real and theres nothing that could change the way im feeling today.

except her

paranoia crawls slowly from within.its just a matter of time before it eats me whole.yes its consuming every part of me.i can feel it.im not exaggerating (maybe just a bit) but i really feel it.YES i know that she loves me.but what would happen to me when the time comes that we have to give up everything that we invested?!what would be left of me?!what if forever existed?!would we last that long?!would i let it last?!would she let it?!would THEY let it happen?!i think not.its just what i think.im not that negative on things.i just wanna be that realistic.because were getting older,not younger.time is running out.

im afraid of losing grasp....but im really happy i found you.im happy you found me.ive been looking for you.i dont want to lose you.sooner that what i expect.

coleen be vigilant...coleen be alert....coleen gimme a break.shut up.rar