MURDERED

thats the single word that could describe all thats left of my hair. i had a haircut 3 days ago.my wife persuaded me to get a new haircut,but unfortunately some fag didnt follow a thing that i told him.so now i have to stick with just merely hiding my gruesome hairdo by applying tons of gel to it.hehe.wow.12 days and still no updates?yup im hella busy right now.maybe just getting a life or enjoying one.been busy with schoolwork lately and i gave my utmost attention solving our math problems.they suck and theyre hella hard but atleast i had the time to study.and im hapee that our math ana finals is over.i still have the hangover with our math...

pain+pain+pain+pleasure=pleasure.

nice equation eh?simple but accurate.lemme explain this.this equation pertains to love.yup love again.simply love.love makes the world go round.love makes blah blah and blahs.love is pain.love is sacrifice.love sucks.but i love it.yup yup.im turning into this hideous animal again.so stand back everyone.here comes ms casanova again.

*wheeeeeeeeeee*

you think i like this?you think im enjoying this?well guess what...your hella right...

and wrong...

know why?

im feeling the same.ecstatic and paranoid.both extreme words to describe the woes and wants.hay if i could only find a good outlet for these things.i would be the happiest person alive.all men needs to have an outlet of things.but good thing is got something closer to it.i got someone to love.someone who would listen to every nonsense and shenanigans that would come out of my mouth.overjoyed by the thought that someone loves me.im contented with her.she fills me.shes the only thing that i think of is real and theres nothing that could change the way im feeling today.

except her

paranoia crawls slowly from within.its just a matter of time before it eats me whole.yes its consuming every part of me.i can feel it.im not exaggerating (maybe just a bit) but i really feel it.YES i know that she loves me.but what would happen to me when the time comes that we have to give up everything that we invested?!what would be left of me?!what if forever existed?!would we last that long?!would i let it last?!would she let it?!would THEY let it happen?!i think not.its just what i think.im not that negative on things.i just wanna be that realistic.because were getting older,not younger.time is running out.

im afraid of losing grasp....but im really happy i found you.im happy you found me.ive been looking for you.i dont want to lose you.sooner that what i expect.

coleen be vigilant...coleen be alert....coleen gimme a break.shut up.rar

had another stick of my regular lights.i cant help it.everytime i eat i always have this craving for another stick of my favorite brand of cigarette.hay.i wish i had a way.hmmm...looks like that i have to catch up on a lot of blogging.

*reads through her blogs*

oh well...i even forgot to blog while twas my birthday.ho nga pala.it was my birthday just 2 weeks ago!march 4.i really felt complete then.a lot of people texted me that day so i felt a little (little lang noh!) special.Ü.gee whiz..mushy hehe.erm..

okay okay..whatever..so i havent updated this thing...whats new?actually.nothing big.Ü.whats ironic is that i wouldnt change a thing about it.im really happy and contented how things are coming in their way.i mean yup,a lovelife adds a lot of zest in your life.but what happens when you add in a combination of a cup of a nearly bearable family and toppings of good friends to make your life better.those are what i think vital in order to keep your sanity.atleast now that i have found solace by leaning on to others and trusting them, its my turn to return them the favor of keeping them that trust.darn it,do i sound like a friggin missionary?hehe.i dont mean to annoy bitter people.but i just happen to enjoy life at this very moment.i learned a big secret eh.and i learned it the hard way.its just to appreciate everthing that comes your way.a lot of people thought me this.including the one i love.but right now shes really pissed with her projects and all,and im trying my best to help her.she hasnt replied yet,so i think shes REAL busy.o jeepers,i forgot to do her math project.ill catch up on that later.hehe.
*sigh*.reality bites.but you do a lot of things to conceal it.a lot of people try to look their best in all things but often find themselves empty in the end.just thoughts,i have a lot of thoughts,and sometimes i forget all of them in just a spur of a moment.anyway,before i go further into what im trying to post,ima mention if nalang.Ü.last saturday,(tama ba)march8.aion.post ko lang date in case.hehe.i dont have to tell everything in detail.because i remember all things perfectly and clearly.it was up's fashion party.the SINGE.it was really fun.but a lot of things happened before i could really say it as fun.challenges.hehe.anyway.ima get out muna.and grab my favorite lights and puff my way into everything.im hella pressured here at the shop.wish that this would be taken sooner than april.hay.i wana rest na eh.

i wanna pee.we had a little fight.but i feel weird.its like shes hiding something.i have to be extra careful...
shes really demanding haha but its ok--->my stupidity almost put me into trouble...i posted this little blog in the wrong blogger..hehe..#paulinians...its a good thing i had time awhile ago to check and edit stuff...whew...Ü